Yesterday was my first day actually sitting down and talking to a therapist. I have wanted to try therapy for a long time, but I always found it kind of intimidating and just overall scary. Before I began the Therapy process, my life and emotions was very discombobulated. In October 2021, I became a mother to a beautiful baby girl. I also went through a traumatic breakup with her father, and even more traumatic experiences dealing with him for co-parenting. For a while, I felt as though my mental health began to decline and my self love began to dwindle to nothing. I was lost in who I was and what I was going to become in life. Dealing with the weight of a breakup and postpartum hormones, I finally pushed myself to try therapy and try a new path. This was honestly one of the best decisions I could have made in life.
First let me say this, therapy is not a beautiful walk in a park. It forces you to view yourself and your emotions in a different perspective and light. It helps you to break down your feelings and began to understand who YOU are. Therapy is not meant for you to figure out others and their crap, its meant for you to figure out you and unpack YOUR crap. To understand yourself and your emotions is a key to success that a lot of us lack. One of the hardest things about therapy, in my opinion, is getting the courage to go in the first place. This was really tough for me to conquer. For a while, I kept telling my friend Daniel that I wanted to go and I felt like I needed to try it. Truth is, the thought of going to therapy terrified me. I had thoughts of "does this mean I am messed up?" "Will therapy actually benefit me and my life?" "Am i going to be judged for going to therapy?" After pondering on these questions for so long, I began to realize that I was creating excuses for myself because I was afraid of the overall process of therapy. Well I am here today to tell you that my perspective has completely shifted.
I went to my first session afraid and curious of what was about to happen. We began with a simple process of introducing ourselves and what we do in life. For example, "What are some of the passions that we have and why have we chosen those passions?" Then, we got to the nitty gritty parts. She asked me what I wanted to talk about today, and my head immediately went through so much trauma that I experienced. I actually had no idea what to say. I went through so many thoughts in my head before I finally decided on a topic. Now let me pause, the one thing that I love about the new version of Therapy, is the fact that you can do it in the comfort of your home without much effort. (One positive effect of Covid.) Once I chose a topic, we began to navigate it together. She gave me a different perspective and insight, and I began to realize that it was actually a healing that I needed for a while. She gave such amazing advice and just opened my mind a bit more. By the end of the session, I shed a few tears. But I felt so reassured and in such a better headspace afterwards. One of the topics we discussed was "self love." She took that topic and gave me a great exercise (ill post below) to help me rebuild my confidence and teach me the importance of self love. By the end of the session I felt a range of emotions, but overall I felt a release somewhat. I became more content with my emotions, and she lit a path on how to navigate them. It was one of the best decisions that I decided to make.
I say all of that to say this, therapy is a tough choice to make. Do not be afraid to make this choice. Deciding to go to therapy is very beneficial. Forget the stereo-typical crap that surrounds therapy and try it yourself. It does not matter what anyone thinks about YOUR process and YOUR decision to begin this journey. If you never start, you will never know if it is beneficial to you or not. After one session, I do believe that it is a beneficial process, especially if you put in the time and work needed to be successful at it. Also, give yourself time to adjust. Anything new that you implement in life will always be a challenge or struggle at first. If you stick with it and allow yourself a chance to grow, you will begin to reap the benefits behind it. Although it was a long process to get here, I am happy that I did it. I will always suggest it to any and everyone to try. As I stated before, therapy is not a beautiful walk in the park. It is a part of self discovery that will be beneficial to you for the rest of your life. Even if it is something you do a couple of times, you will reap the benefits. Just try it.
Below I am going to post the Self Love exercise that my therapist gave to me at my first session. I hope it will help you all as much as it will help me. Always remember "self discovery is an ongoing journey."